unfortunate things i have said today about my hangover

  1. "the gatorade refilled my mouth and i rid myself of it"
  2. "i am killing it and by it i mean my body"
  3. "i'm a puker but i did not anticipate that i would be throwing up water on the side of the 101"
  4. "quick super super casual question. if i threw up a little red, would that be blood?"
  5. "honestly i don't feel that bad anymore i've just puked eight times"
  6. "really mom i'm fine otherwise"
  7. "hey if i did throw up blood how bad is that? it's just from my throat probably, right?"
  8. "i was drunk but not even the drunkest i've ever been"
  9. "my parents won't express anything other than concern but i think they're ashamed of how hungover i am"