More weird online dating messages

  1. I would ruin u
    Really? Does that opening line EVER work?! And why would anyone think that was a good thing to say?
  2. Hopefully one day you'll be a successful journalist
    Minutes after I said I wrote for various websites. Ok, maybe it's my ego talking but I'm not doing badly work wise, and you've only been messaging me for a few hours. Maybe don't sound like you're channelling my grandmother?
  3. Hairy or shaved?
    If you wouldn't walk up to someone in a bar and say it, why not never say it?
  4. Will you force me to dress like a woman?
    No thanks. Also, that's your opening line? Maybe bring a little woo to the table first? Or just say hi, how are you? Anything but this really (or the hairy or shaved question)
  5. Bet you're a lot to handle when you get going.
    Yeah, you're not going to find out.
  6. ur profile says ur slim. Ur not.
    I didn't reply to his first message - partly because I wasn't online. This was his second message. Obviously, I was distraught to have missed out on such a catch.
  7. Are you really a journalist? Lol
    Nope, I'm a liar that chose a really unsexy lie to make.
  8. Guy who went from wanting to date me to wanting to sleep with me as friends with benefits to wanting to sleep with me just once.
    Nope, nope, and nooooooooo.
  9. I'm going to jerk off over your photos later.
    Erm, ok? TBH, I'd think porn would work better given my photos. Did he want some kind of shocked response from me? Yeah, no.
  10. You're beautiful. I'd love to be your slave xxxxx
    That's sweet if unlikely. Oh, wait, no thanks, not my deal!
  11. I'm a doctor. Why aren't you interested in me?!
    Seriously?
  12. Interested in a threesome with me and my gf?
    ....Maybe I'll just stay single forever.
  13. You seem fascinating
    Never replies to follow up message. Guess the fascination was short lived?