1. It's been a hectic week again. I feel like I say that a lot but it's been one of those months/years.
  2. Tuesday involved a sobering conversation with my dedicated asthma nurse.
  3. She was really nice but she told me how my lungs are taking in about 60% of the oxygen they should be, and that I probably have scar tissue in my airways.
  4. Then reminded me that I need to take my emergency inhaler with me everywhere I go because it's basically just luck that I haven't had an asthma attack yet.
    Then pointed out that asthma attacks are life threatening and I need to carry the thing that will save my life.
  5. And that was all a bit unsettling.
    I've been very focused on it being a mild thing and trying to not take it seriously.
  6. Wednesday involved two medical appointments for my mum.
  7. The first was an emergency one at her GP's because her chest infection is still there and the first lot of antibiotics haven't worked.
  8. She has more antibiotics now.
    As well as having her bloods checked.
  9. The second was to see her usual consultant.
    He was worried about her chest too.
  10. So, she had a chest x Ray.
    Results next week.
  11. If she's not better by Monday, they're going to try to figure out what to do next.
    I'm a little worried by this. She's never been this bad before.
  12. But I put on a brave face and reassured her.
  13. I spent the evening super tired.
  14. I thought I'd text B to let him know how my asthma appointment went, and see how he is.
  15. He's super stressed.
    He starts his law course next week.
  16. He thinks his life is going to be solely work and law books for the next two years.
    I'll admit this unnerved me.
  17. I don't want him to just vanish!
    He means so much to me.
  18. So, I reassured him, while feeling like I was reassuring myself too.
    Which has just been me all week really.
  19. Static
    Was my main tactic.
  20. It's true, right? I remember studying. It's terrifying right at the start. Like your life is just going to be textbook after textbook.
  21. And then I managed to make him feel better while he made me feel a bit better.
    Brownie is our in joke via a Will Ferrell stand up where he's Bush, talking about 'Brownie'/Michael D Brown (the guy that mishandled Katrina). Yes, our in jokes are quite specific.
  22. And now I feel kind of better.
    Because I want to be in his corner, and I want him in mine.
  23. But also?
  24. I'd really like someone to hug me and say it'll all be ok.
  25. For now, I just need to hope. And try to listen to my own advice about not worrying about stuff that hasn't happened yet.