My husband is fucking hilarious.
  1. "You stole drinks from our mini bar and you told my wife she should have an abortion. But sure, we'll name our kid after you."
    While watching an early episode of 90210 where the gang goes camping and Dylan gets drunk and yells at a pregnant lady
  2. "I'm tired of these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking country!"
    While describing the true legend of St. Patrick to me
  3. "Those are my BART pants!!"
    While protesting when I put his jeans on the bed
  4. "You've caused a wound!"
    After I picked a scab on my knee and it bled
  5. "On my travels, I have learned many things."
    While hiking to Machu Picchu and worrying we'd lost the camera lens cap every 15 minutes
  6. "Let's write a story together! I think we should shoot for 20 pages. Double spaced though. I feel like it should be a parable...about feelings..."
    No idea what context this came out of...