WHY EVERY PROBLEM IN MY LIFE TRACES BACK TO MY PARENTS' REFUSAL TO GET ME A DOG
- •I didn't know what a lint roller was until I was 19
- •Poor knowledge of local parks and walking areas
- •I always chose D-Dog as my buddy in the new metal gear solid despite the fact that Quiet is far superior
- •I actually don't hate it when owners put their pets in prams like a baby
- •Inability to cope with physical displays of love etc.
- •I haven't developed the high pitched voice people use for pets/babies
- •I've missed so many things at parties because the owner has a dog and I have a lifetime of unsatisfied petting energy