WHY CHANUKAH SUCKS

Chanukah sucks as an adult, especially as a parent, but most especially as the parent of teenagers.
  1. The kids only like the gifts they specifically asked for. Anything else is "not what I asked for" and therefore not good.
  2. We don't decorate, except for the menorah on the kitchen island and the Chanukah wreath I bought at Michael's for 30% off before Chanukah even started. And we only have the wreath because our house looked so boring next to everyone else's very merry decorations.
  3. If we gave the kids all their gifts at one time, like Christmas, they would love everything. The good gifts would cancel out the bad ones and everyone would be happy. But because we have to split it all up over 8 nights, everything has to stand on its own and there's no real excitement over what to open next. Christmas does it right.
  4. Latkes are yummy but a pain in the ass to make.
  5. Chanukah is such an anticlimactic holiday. No big finish. Even Yom Kippur has a yummy dinner at the end.