Reasons My Decision to Get a New Hairstyle Will End Badly
What started as a bang trim and ended in a new Pinterest board devoted to Alexa Chung's long-wavy-bob-with-bangs
- •GeneticsI have no evidence to suggest that Alexa Chung has naturally curly hair. I do. There is probably a reason no one has a curly lob.
- •InventoryBecause I NEED new hair by tomorrow, I took the only stylist available, Fredrick. Why was Fredrick available on a Saturday?
- •HistoryI haven't repeated a hair stylist in the past two years. No one knows the secrets hiding in my hair. Especially Fredrick, whom I have never met.
- •BitmojiI was unable to restyle my bitmoji to have both wavy hair and bangs. If bitmoji won't do it, should I? Is this a sign? If my bitmoji doesn't look like me, will my friends know who is texting?
- •KarmaI built a Pinterest board for my hair instead of working this afternoon. That might have been a karmic misstep.
- •ValueFredrick's hair cuts start at $53. An hour of therapy is $120. I might not be paying Fredrick enough to be invested.
- •ImpulseCarrie Bradshaw taught us that delayed gratification is the definition of maturity. My hair plan might suffer for premature execution.
- •BrunchI have a boozy brunch before my appointment. Hair changes should involve more, not fewer, inhibitions.