THINGS I THINK ABOUT A LOT BUT NEVER TELL ANYONE ABOUT

  1. If Kim and Kanye will make it
  2. The toilets on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
  3. dentures
  4. What if I grow a lady-ish beard in old age but am too old to take care of it
  5. Diane Keaton's glove addiction
  6. If my kid is secretly a jerk and I'll never really know