Chicken vs. Turkey

  1. In a sandwich - turkey
    Chicken tends to be thicker and desperate for attention. Turkey hangs back, making its presence known but letting the cheese, the breads, the spreads have their moment.
  2. In a salad - chicken
    The playing field has changed. You want something to make you forget you're eating leaves. Chicken's strengths shine. Your once beloved turkey is now slimy and insipid.
  3. As a leg - turkey
    If you doubt me on this, hmu and we'll go to Disneyland (or the nearest Gelson's - it's okay, you're busy, I get it) and feast like kings of yore rejoicing a good wife-beheading.
  4. In a "we're bustin' out" movie - chicken
    To be fair, I didn't see Free Birds, but I just know it's not as good as Chicken Run and the good people at Metacritic agree. The okay people at Rotten Tomatoes agree as well.