How I Imagine the Girls Christmas Special Going Down

Since it's becoming less and less likely that there will be a Christmas episode of Girls, I figured I'd write my own fanfic list.
  1. Shoshanna throws a Christmahannukwanzaa party. She makes way too much food and is hurt that guests treat it as a "stop by and then leave" party.
  2. Hannah takes drugs and goes to Radio City Music Hall. She freaks out over the fact that Fran used to date one of the Rockettes.
  3. Desi and Marnie try to write a Christmas duet and fight over whether it should be ironic (Desi's preference) or sentimental (Marnie's preference).
  4. Ray refuses to put out a seasonal beverage. Elijah does it anyway.
  5. Adam and Jessa volunteer at a homeless shelter. Jessa butts heads with a veteran before bonding with him. Adam workshops his one-man show about a homeless man.
  6. The girls end up eating cold latkes at Shoshanna's and watching The Apartment. A Sufjan Stevens Christmas song plays over the credits.