1. To eat like a teenaged boy without the emotional frustrations that come with being a teenaged boy
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  2. To eat like a pregnant woman but without a human growing inside me and with a stiff drink to wash it down
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  3. To eat like an Olympic swimmer without the high moral standards imposed on Olympic athletes
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  4. To eat like a sumo wrestler without worrying about my line of work becoming obsolete
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  5. To eat like a hot girl in a movie but also exist
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