If These Movies Were Women, Here's What They Would Wear to The 2017 Oscars
- •SullyRemember that feather dress Penelope Cruz wore 10 years ago? Sully's dress would be like that, but made of goose feathers to symbolize man's triumph over plane-crashing geese.
- •Manchester by the SeaA dress made of Kleenex so that when you look at her and you remember "that part" of the movie, you can pull off a tissue to wipe away your tears.
- •JackieA pillbox hat and a smart suit? Noooo, sir. Jackie's going to show up completely naked so we see the REAL her.
- •La La LandA cleverly updated version of Audrey Hepburn's red dress from Funny Face, and she would spin down the red carpet until she arrives at the Dolby Theatre and throws up.
- •MoonlightSomething so understatedly lovely that you almost wish La La Land wasn't stealing her thunder.
- •The LobsterA dress made of mirrors, because the movie is really about...ourselves. (FYI I didn't see The Lobster so this is just a shot in the dark.)
- •Nocturnal AnimalsA dress so stylish and elegant that it makes you gasp at first glance and then you're, like, over it.
- •ZootopiaA zoot suit she calls a "Zootopia suit" that makes adults think "Ah-ha! How very clever" and kids think "Haha those pants look silly." Fun for the whole family!