Requested by Tori

HIGHLIGHTS OF AN 11 HOUR BUS RIDE

When you're 💸ballin on a budget💸, finding out about a last minute trip means taking a grimy bus down the boulevard of broken dreams
  1. The driver testing the waters with what I assume is his stand up material
    "Good morning everyone, if you took off your shoes, put 'em back on. If you took off your pants, put those back on too!!!"
  2. Looking at the time at 3:45 am and wondering if this was real or a nightmare
  3. Dreaming/hallucinating about dogs taking a yoga class
  4. Watching my phone battery deplete
    Along with any remaining optimism
  5. Seeing a 40-something year old woman have her 90-something year old husband take pictures of her posing in the train station only to find out that I had the pleasure of sitting next to her for 7 hours
    She loved bumping my elbow and then looking at me like I wronged her
  6. Sitting next to a guy who was srsly manspreading for the remaining 4 hours 😑
    I could not move... I resent him so much
  7. Listening to podcasts and laughing manically to myself while everyone slept
  8. The guy behind me pushing his bag so far forward under my seat that it was entirely UNDER MY FEET
    Every time I would try to push it back, he would push it forward even more aggressively... I'm sorry but no???
  9. Lisa
    She took over as driver and was real af.. "Unless you wanna go through the windshield, don't come down the front staircase while I'm driving"
  10. Texting @torihyndman saying "I welcome death with open arms..."
    "...jk" Even I recognized how disgustingly over dramatic that was I apologize
  11. Connecticut
    Nice highways
  12. The girl across the aisle staring at me like she wanted to drink my blood
    Her look screamed living dead
  13. Spotting some inspired license plates
    "ALGAE"
  14. The sunrise
    Did night even happen
  15. Drinking enough water to survive, but not enough that I would need to pee
    It's all about ~balance~ people
  16. Learning how to walk again
    Also about balance... And stretching
  17. I lost a part of my soul on that bus and I will never get it back
    I am changed, but more alive than I have ever been