PARTIES I WASN'T INVITED TO
There must be a lot of lost invitations floating around in the abyss.
- •An 8th grade Survivor themed birthday partyAll my other friends were there. I never even made it on the island and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still bitter about it.
- •Any toga party in collegeIs this even a real thing?
- •A house party I accidentally crashed with a drug dealerHe was sort of seeing a friend of mine and invited us to come to a party with him. Turns out he was not invited and we 100% were not invited. Someone owed this guy money, but he thought it would be "chill"... You'll be surprised to know It was not. I did meet a nice dog though, so not a total loss.
- •A surprise party thrown for meWhat I mean is I would like someone to throw me a surprise party. If you're interested my birthday is September 28th and I like cake.
- •Kylie Jenner's 18th BirthdayProbably wasn't that fun anyway.
- •A brunch party thrown by my roommateI moved in and met her for the first time maybe a week prior. I hid in my bedroom the entire time because I felt rude intruding but had no where to go. Sounded pretty lame but I would've enjoyed some food.
- •A cool bar mitzvah in middle schoolEveryone who was anyone was invited. It was the social event of the season (aka 7th grade). I don't entirely remember why, but the kid's mom definitely forced him to let everyone come. I went because I had zero pride and wore such an ugly orange dress that I understand why I wasn't invited in the first place.
- •Elton John's Oscars PartyHe prob thought I'd be winning for my short film "Why Am I Here?" - an existential look at the world from the perspective of my dog. It's cool Elton, I'll get 'em next year (but please invite me anyway).