THINGS I MANAGED TO BRING UP WHILE AT A PARTY FOR ONE HOUR

I came, I saw, I anxiously blurted out random thoughts in an effort to make conversation
  1. The fact that I wasn't technically invited
  2. Beyoncé and Jay-Z's relationship
  3. How much pasta I ate for dinner
    "Like, a lot"
  4. The MTV show Date My Mom
    "What do you mean you don't know what I'm taking about?"
  5. Career criminals
  6. The band Hellogoodbye
    I am so sorry
  7. Target
  8. Ducks
    Underrated bird
  9. Kelly Clarkson
  10. The Shining
  11. The price of Birkenstocks
  12. My desire to attend a murder mystery party
    "Ideally I would be the murderer"
  13. Toe rings
  14. Board games
    "I like them, but I always cheat or lose"
  15. Ghosts
  16. My neighbor's garden gnome
  17. My dog
    "I should probably go home and hang out with her since she's my best friend.... Ha ha omg kidding" (I wasn't kidding)