THINGS I SHOULD GET RID OF BUT PROBABLY WON'T

My limited talents include justifying keeping useless crap and attaching deep sentiment to inanimate objects.
  1. Empty plastic water bottles
    I'm letting them pile up until I drown in them to repent for the damage I've caused the environment.
  2. Magazines from 2006
    One person's trash is another's treasure - an 06 issue of Teen People with Ashlee Simpson on the cover is my treasure. The Smithsonian will come begging me for these some day.
  3. Gift cards with no money on them
    "The balance is $0.00 do you want me to get rid of this for you?" "No that's okay I'll take it and keep it in my wallet forever."
  4. Receipts for clothes I've already worn multiple times
    Hey store will you take back this shirt with a gaping hole and 3 mystery stains I wore to a bar last weekend?
  5. Every birthday card I've ever received
    Not sure why I feel too guilty to throw away a birthday card some girl I don't speak to anymore gave me in 6th grade? I'm generally not even a nice person so this one is really confusing.
  6. Many unfinished crossword puzzles
    I'm not a quitter, but I'm also not very good at crossword puzzles. You know what they say, better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all - even better to try and fail and hold on to that failure and let it consume your life.
  7. A CD with the soundtrack to a musical I was in when I was 14
    Good excuse to bring up my time in the spotlight or perform my show stopping three line solo.
  8. A lot of broken stuff
    Some call it hoarding, I call it hope.