THINGS I SHOULD GET RID OF BUT PROBABLY WON'T
My limited talents include justifying keeping useless crap and attaching deep sentiment to inanimate objects.
- •Empty plastic water bottlesI'm letting them pile up until I drown in them to repent for the damage I've caused the environment.
- •Magazines from 2006One person's trash is another's treasure - an 06 issue of Teen People with Ashlee Simpson on the cover is my treasure. The Smithsonian will come begging me for these some day.
- •Gift cards with no money on them"The balance is $0.00 do you want me to get rid of this for you?" "No that's okay I'll take it and keep it in my wallet forever."
- •Receipts for clothes I've already worn multiple timesHey store will you take back this shirt with a gaping hole and 3 mystery stains I wore to a bar last weekend?
- •Every birthday card I've ever receivedNot sure why I feel too guilty to throw away a birthday card some girl I don't speak to anymore gave me in 6th grade? I'm generally not even a nice person so this one is really confusing.
- •Many unfinished crossword puzzlesI'm not a quitter, but I'm also not very good at crossword puzzles. You know what they say, better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all - even better to try and fail and hold on to that failure and let it consume your life.
- •A CD with the soundtrack to a musical I was in when I was 14Good excuse to bring up my time in the spotlight or perform my show stopping three line solo.
- •A lot of broken stuffSome call it hoarding, I call it hope.