HORRIFYING THINGS IN 50 SHADES OF GREY
...And it's not that it was "too much." Disclaimer: I was forced into watching this with one of my best friends. This was not by personal choice. Spoiler alert I guess???
- •The pencil bitingLet's just take extremely obvious shot and close in on her biting the "Grey" pencil right from the start. How original.
- •The girlEverything about her. She was horribly annoying, horribly predictable, horribly nasally, horribly ineffective, horrible everything
- •The brotherI refuse to believe Christian Grey and his unimportant brother come from the same gene pool.
- •The way Grey said "Anastasia"Ana-stasi-a. And very noncommittal about it. If you're going to speak like an idiot at least have some conviction.
- •The kitten nuzzleThat thing she did every time he touched her face: closed her eyes and nuzzled her cheek in like a cat. EVERY TIME.
- •The linesMost specifically irritating: "I'm 50 shades of fucked up." Really!?!?!?
- •The instant moanSimilarly to the kitten nuzzle, the girl moaned, full on moaned, at the lightest touch. Girl.
- •The sexHERE'S THE THING. If you're gonna produce this out, do it right. Don't half ass it. For a movie about sex (and don't try to tell me it wasn't) the sex sucked. No one came for the story line.
- •The...all of it.It was all just horrifyingly awful. Simply the worst movie I've ever seen. Zero redeeming qualities. 0/5 would not recommend.