IN WHICH JENNA APPLIES TO GRADUATE SCHOOL

Some background: I'm a chemistry major at a small liberal arts college. I hope to someday get my phd and be a BAMF scientist.
  1. I found a program a few weeks ago that sounded too good to be true.
    Fully funded, geared towards students from small schools with less research experience, etc etc
  2. I told a few of my professors about it because they've all been there, done that.
    Or maybe because I wanted them to stop cornering me about my postgrad plans every chance they get.
  3. They were all like JENNA THIS PROGRAM WAS LITERALLY DESIGNED FOR YOU IF YOU DON'T APPLY I WILL LITERALLY KILL YOU.
    So much HYPE, y'all.
  4. So the whole thing's been marinating in my brain for the past few weeks
    And I told myself I HAD to submit an application by the end of spring break (this week).
  5. I sent out emails asking for letters of recommendation from aforementioned profs
    Who were basically like WHAT THE FUCK TOOK YA SO LONG YA IDIOT
  6. And I got started on the application
    -cue dramatic music-
  7. Application form? Easy peasy!
  8. Transcripts? Requested!
  9. Academic honors and relevant experience? I got it all right here in my CV!
  10. Personal statement?
  11. ...
  12. ........
  13. -heavy breathing-
  14. SO THIS IS HOW IT ENDS
  15. Not one to back down from a fight, I got started on a first draft.
    Wowowow it is really fucking hard to write about yourself in a way that makes people want you but at the same time does not make people think you're a pompous bastard.
  16. So I emailed one of my profs
    -cue emotional breakdown-
  17. Who responded with a very nice email outlining what a fantastic person I am and how I can write that in a way that doesn't come across as douchey
    I knew something good would eventually come out of being so hermioneish these past four years.
  18. Refreshed by these words, I gave myself a pep talk.
  19. And sat back down and wrote what I hope is a kickass personal statement
  20. Because I saved that shit
  21. Put it in a pdf with the rest of my application
  22. Fought an internal struggle for like 10min
  23. AND SENT IT.
  24. What came next, you ask?
  25. The intense desire to get drunk
  26. Followed by the intense desire to projectile vomit
  27. What actually happened next, you ask?
    I chugged a glass of wine while staring at this gif until I no longer felt the urge to projectile vomit, because that's how adults handle anxiety.
  28. THE END