THE BEST EMAILS/TEXTS I'VE GOTTEN LATELY

  1. Looking at those jeans really made me miss my stretchy ones. It's so hard to go back, it's like why do we even have zippers at all?
    From my friend, missing her pregnancy jeans after another friend sent us a link of the ones she plans to buy. But this brings up a real issue that we've all pondered--why zippers?
  2. MARGS!
    Self explanatory. It was like 150 degrees in dc that day, so this needed to be in caps.
  3. The beach was amaaazing. Also, kind of scary. And I totally get the sweaty balls fear. I was more grossed out by the children potentially peeing in there. Let's just say that I was wearing a skirt and am unclear about how std's spread, but I'm pretty sure I'm at high risk now. All that said, you HAVE to go and Instagram it.
    From my friend who went to go see the "beach" exhibit at the National Building Museum, which recreates sand with like a million plastic balls that everyone wades in and goes under. I think it's pretty gross but also kind if want to go. With a lot of purell.
  4. I found a rogue black hair in the back of my leg. I think it's time you put me under.
    From my friend during her birthday week, which I think brought up some anxiety.
  5. Your reservation confirmation for the Melting Pot--Arlington, VA
    My husband got a promotion and I told him I'd take him anywhere he wanted for dinner and he chose the Melting Pot, which is inexplicably his favorite restaurant. Honest. And we live in DC so we had to cross state lines for this. That said, it was amazing. Put melted cheese in front of me and I'm happy.
  6. But then I'm going to a prison in Oklahoma, so....
    From my husband, updating me on his travel schedule for work. This one didn't even phase me. He's gone to way worse places.
  7. It's a sad day for all the white suede leather coat wearing ladies.
    A friend, upset about the death of Amanda Peterson from Can't Buy Me Love.
  8. Thought you would enjoy the fact that I just placed my 2nd Postmates order of the day.
    Got this on Sunday after a long 4th of July weekend with lots of visitors. Postmates has changed hangovers for everyone.
  9. I just ate two cheeseburgers. Have fun tonight!
    My best friend from high school was on a road trip with her husband and three kids and sent me an sos email, to which I responded that at least she would get mcdonalds at some point. She immediately wrote this back to me.
  10. I feel like at this point in my life I have to do what makes me happy and really am trying to not feel guilty cheating on my hair dresser or nail woman.
    Wise advice from my super successful friend after I told her a horror story about accidentally ending up with "the Rachel" haircut last year and still hugging and tipping the hairdresser. (It wasn't a cute cut then and it REALLY wasn't cute in 2014. No idea how we communicated so badly about what it was I was looking for. My hair was in a ponytail for like 4 months, FYI.)