Inspired by @jakebrandman
  2. May 25, 1935
  3. Dear Mr. Farnsworth,
  4. The kindergarteners in my purview have been progressing as desired, showing promise and the kind of spirit we need in these depressed times.
  5. While most of these students have been a delight, I have serious and specific concerns about the following children and their future success if allowed to continue this unseemly behavior.
  6. I will be in your office on June 10 of this year to discuss the appropriateness of continuing instruction for:
  7. Jasper J. -South Carolina
    Jasper lacks the stability of a traditional home and lives with his aging grandfather. I doubt the old man's competence to watch young Jasper, and several times I have caught the youngster making mud pies in the yard or drawing on his home's walls instead of attending to his studies. His paintings seem to be quite patriotic and that gives me hope, but this behavior must be snipped in the bud if he is ever to make something of his life.
  8. Clint E. -California
    Way too dramatic, directs other students as if he was in charge, too interested in guns.
  9. Delores F. -New Mexico
    Always trying to organize her classmates and get them to stand up for themselves! Honestly sit down and behave young lady!
  10. Don S. -Ohio
    Too interested in American style football. It will never catch the interest of ordinary Americans and he should concentrate on baseball, America's true sport!
  11. Sandra O. -Texas
    Nice girl, brilliant and fair, but a little judgy.
  12. Stephen S. -New York
    The boy will not stop singing. Doing math problems-singing! Reading from his primer-singing! In the bathroom-I can still hear his pipsqueak voice singing! He's on my last nerve!
  13. Warren B. -Nebraska
    Wanted me to pay him now for his grandmother's pearls, then take them at the end of the year when oysters would be at a premium. You'll have to watch this little con man!
  14. Nathalie H. -Minnesota
    Beautiful girl and very dramatic, but I refuse to call her by that ridiculous name Tippi! Loves animals, maybe too much. Also terrified of birds and bald, fat men.
  15. Ray C. -Georgia
    I'm worried that young Ray can't see as well as he used to. While he is gifted musically, I fear he will have to give up his studies when he inevitably loses his sight.
  16. Buzz, Neil and Michael
    It's such a shame these boys live so far apart, they would make great friends since all they do is stare up into the sky for hours on end. I snapped at young Neil one day for wool-gathering during history lesson, and told him if he liked the moon so much he should just go there! That was probably out of line of me, Mr. Farnsworth, but honestly!
  17. Harvey M. - New York
    Smart, talented and well-liked, but Mr. Farnsworth, I'm a little worried this boy likes boys a little too much, and that just won't do. Because of his general suitability for this program, I'm leaving this out of my official report, but I wanted to make you aware of the situation.
  18. Shel S. -Illinois
    Boy won't stop going on about this tree. Constantly answering my questions with rhyming answers. Drawing people with enormous noses on every flat surface. This one is hopeless, I fear.
  19. Thank you for taking the time to listen to my concerns, Mr. Farnsworth. I'll look forward to our meeting next month.
  20. Sincerely,
  21. Mabel Bellewether
    Kindergarten Teacher