A BRIEF HISTORY OF SCISSORGATE 1986

  1. My sister's point of view:
    Jenny stabbed me with scissors in the hand for no good reason just because I'm smol and cute.
  2. The truth:
  3. Jenny is in 5th grade and working hard on her diorama of the very sad novel A TASTE OF BLACKBERRIES.
    She is a conscientious student and only a tiny bit obnoxious. This book has put her in a fragile emotional state.
  4. Jenny comes into the kitchen, gets the good, sharp scissors off the top of the fridge and holds them point down.
  5. The she turns around and sees her cute, tiny, charming baby(7 year old) sister wearing her headband AND HER LEGWARMERS!!!!
    The purple ones she begged and begged for.
  6. Jenny politely and icily says:
    Those are mine. Take them off.
  7. Lizzie STICKS HER TONGUE OUT at Jenny and says:
    Mom said they looked cuter on me.
  8. Jenny *may* have said:
    I'll cut them off you before I'll let you have them.
  9. But she DID NOT raise the scissors nor did she step towards Lizzie.
  10. Then Lizzie raised her too cute baby hand and tried to smack Jenny and Jenny raised the scissors hand up to block but the tip of the scissors went into Lizzie's palm and she screamed like Jenny was actually stabbing her and mom came into the kitchen and called the paramedics.
  11. And Lizzie got herself a tiny scar on her palm and a pair of purple legwarmers.
  12. And Jenny got an A on her diorama project but also grounded for a month.
  13. And, because it is the eighties, mom did not get social services called nor did she learn not to give my stuff away.