HOW TO BE A COLD, HEARTLESS MONSTER WHO HATES BUNNIES 🐰🐰🐰

  1. Your sister begs your dad for a solid 8 months about getting a dog.
  2. Whine whine whine-I'll take care of it I promise! Which we all know she will not.
  3. Finally your dad makes a compromise. No dog, but we each can get our own little pet.
  4. We load into our giant station wagon. (It's white, as wide as a metro bus, and named Moby Dick.) We are a family who would not really see the hilarious and gross potential of this name.
  5. We go to the pet store in the mall.
  6. My brother gets a Guinea pig.
    He names it Cookie and keeps it for 5 years. He is devastated when it dies and misses three days of school.
  7. My middle sister gets a hamster.
    Names it Nibbles. It is an escape artist and constantly gets into the heating vents and has to be lured out with cheese.
  8. My youngest sister gets a lop eared bunny.
    She named the bunny Loppy which was ridiculous. She was the sister who cried about the dog. She never took care of her bunny either but my brother did. Loppy had problems and didn't live very long.
  9. I got a stack of Nancy Drew mysteries.
    I read them in my clean room with the door closed and never had to deal with any animal poop.
  10. We did end up getting a dog later.
    She was a beautiful gold and white collie and her name was Daisy and she would bolt the minute anyone even thought about opening a door. We are probably the only kids in America whose dog actually did go to live "in a nice farm in the country where she had room to run."