I own these clothes, but can't think of a single place I could comfortably wear them.
  1. Sheer leopard print beach pants
    They look soooo cute on plus size bloggers at their fancy poolside parties!
  2. 70's patterned, bell sleeve mini dress
    I may also have matching pants. I do not want to waste this cute dress on a schlocky Halloween costume though.
  3. Watermelon bikini
    In the backyard, but it's not really conducive to swimming, volleyballing, sandcastling, or moving if I don't want my boobs to fall out. Also I like myself and am pretty confident, but my body also sort of looks like a watermelon so I don't need to just hand people insults on a gold platter.
  4. Full, ankle length, sparkly gold skirt with pine cones on it
    I wore it to the theater one time 9 years ago, but it's so pretty I can't get rid of it.
  5. Baby you're a firework 4th of July dress(because I'm chilling on the deck and not going anywhere.)
    I wear this on the 4th, but this year I didn't go anywhere.
  6. Pink leather jacket
    So cute, but a little much, maybe? I also have red, black, and blue. Who am I????
  7. Sheer black long sleeve crop top
    But someday?
  8. Purple short sleeved flowered jumpsuit
    Max calls it my nurse outfit-kind of looks like scrubs
  9. Pink butterfly babydoll lingerie
    It's simultaneously too sexy and not sexy enough.
  10. Safari dress
    It's just so....olive colored.
  11. Asymmetrical black skirt with leather details
    The wrong length and not easily alterable
  12. Shark leggings
    Jk I wear these all the time