JENNIFER'S TOP NINE, 100% TRUE,MOST EMBARRASSING DRUNKEN STORIES, RELAYED BAD SLAM POETRY STYLE🏀

Shameless pandering for the sake of competition. March madness madness @aus10
  1. Peed on in a minivan
    By a man, who once said I was his everything, he'd die, die, die, without my hand.
  2. Honey, did the neighbors return
    my buttonless shirt, that I couldn't keep on, cross the lawn, from the car, beyond, to the porch, door
  3. Signature cocktails in classy dispensers
    Sent her, down, stirred and shaken, past the kinds of friends, not friends, who should never see her naked.
  4. Face plant on the street
    Neat feat, sweet feet, street sweep, complete, -ly drunk
  5. Wrecked, wracked, whack
    Cracked, auto stacked, responsibility slack, head smack, fraaaaack!!! Battlestar Galactica. Black, black eyes, two cars, one night.
  6. Glassware collectors?
    He asks, as he passes us complimentary complementary Coke glasses, and a stinky eye, get out of my bar, fly, take your beads and your hurricane glasses, dozens, you classless Glasses, and leave me your $300, plus tip
  7. He had a hat
    And I, a wallet, and in the morning, thirsty and hungover, I had a hat.
  8. Home from the bar
    With a stranger, you'll manage, the danger, was stranger than you'd think
  9. Lavender room, unfaithful groom, fixed the whiskey electric
    Connected connection⚡️don't touch the wires, you're wife, you're fired