1. I'm not gonna lie, The Webbs have some damn good holidays.
  2. And, even though I would not advise having a baby at eighteen, when I did my siblings were still young enough that there was no break in our traditions.
  3. So Santa kept coming for 40+ years at my parents' house.
    And always at 6 AM.
  4. And we kept camping every summer.
    Even though it was just me and my parents this year.
  5. And the Easter Bunny still brings treats and dyes eggs.
    Even if none of us should be eating all that seasonally superior candy. PEEPS FOREVER!!!!
  6. And we still give out giant handfuls of candy on Halloween and exclaim over every costumed kid that comes to the door, no matter how tall.
    And we still never manage to eat dinner until very late.
  7. But I think my favorite holiday as a kid wasn't a holiday at all, except to us.
  8. First we had to find a day in December with no commitments.
    It couldn't be too early, but also if it got too close to Christmas there would be too many conflicts.
  9. This was not an easy feat with working parents and 4 kids with a ridiculous number of activities.
  10. But failure was not an option.
  11. Next we had to get up early and dress appropriately for the weather.
  12. It may be bitter cold with an icy biting wind.
  13. Or drizzling.
  14. Or 60F and sunny enough for shirtsleeves.
  15. Or there might be a foot of snow on the ground.
  16. It's winter in Ohio after all and much like that famous box of chocolates...
    You never know what you're gonna get.
  17. My dad will get a handsaw, a mallet, and a can of WD40 out of the garage.
    This is really the only time of year we use these items.
  18. Up, dressed, bundled in the station wagon, next stop is a snack.
  19. My mom is biologically incapable of driving anywhere in the car without getting a snack. We are in for a whole 40 minute ride, so I'm sure you understand why a snack is IMPERATIVE.
  20. We ride and eat(probably something like ginger snaps or holiday Hershey Kisses) and notice all of the holiday decorations, who has lights up already, and see if we can spot any of those giant blow up snowmen or Santas along the way.
  21. And we drive to the Christmas Tree farm!!!!
  22. Our tree-picking strategy is determined by the weather.
  23. When it is mild and dry we...
  24. Pet the horses and the sheep.
    And mom tells the story of how she had sheep when she was a little girl.
  25. Have a nice chat with Mr. Berenger
    And ask about his family and the trees.
  26. Take a picture of the kids in Santa's sled.
  27. Debate the merits of every tree that looks remotely presentable.
  28. Leave a trail of personal belongings on all the viable candidates.
  29. Eventually get the tree that I want, 9 times out of 10 I pick the winner.
    And we've never had a bad one yet!
  30. Use some magic combination of elbow grease, WD40, and hand tools to fell the tree.
  31. Try to get the tree to the bundling station without getting any more sap than necessary in our hair.
  32. Trek back out to the trees to pick up at least one lost glove or hat.
  33. Pay for the tree.
  34. Eat some complimentary popcorn and use the complimentary but watery hot chocolate to keep our hands warm.
  35. Pick out a free ornament. Make sure it's not a repeat.
  36. Tie the tree to the car, National Lampoon style.
  37. But when it's cold/sleeting/snowing...
  38. Wham Bam thank you Santa Claus!
    Our standard for the perfect tree gets very, very low.
  39. We've still never had one that's not perfect though.
  40. Then we take it home, light it up, tart it up with garland and tinsel and every ornament any child has ever made or given my mom.
    And sip eggnog and listen to Nat King Cole and watch It's a Wonderful Life.
  41. And even though it's not officially a holiday, it's an OFFICIAL WEBB HOLIDAY™
  42. And it's the best.
  43. 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲