1. Bison
    We lived in Oklahoma while my husband was stationed at Ft. Sill but I was a young mom and very homesick so I drove home a lot(about a 17 hr drive one way.) I usually left at dusk so that I drove fresh in the dark and when I was starting to get tired the sun was coming up. I had to drive through the Mt. Scott wildlife preserve to get to the expressway from our house, and on one of the trips there was a bison in the road and I didn't see it until I was right on top of him and I ran off the road.
  2. Luckily the speed limit was only 25mph and I didn't damage the car, so I drove around it on the grass and back on to the road.
    I used this story to explain a large scratch in the door of my car to my dad, when I'd actually just scraped it with a grocery cart like an idiot.
  3. 🐃🐑🐃🐑🐃🐑🐃🐑🐃🐑
  4. My boyfriend is better than your boyfriend!
    I took my 3 kids and two of my oldest son's friends to Gatlinburg. They had two dry erase boards and were playing acrophobia(not the fear of heights, but an acronym game I used to play online) in teams against each other. They'd use the letters on license plates as acronyms and come up with a phrase, then let me know when it was time to pass and try to show the phrase to the people in the car.
  5. Some people responded well, but one guy held his hand up in a phone shape near his ear with his angry face on.
    My kids kept shrugging and writing "what?" And finally his wife(I presume) held up a piece of paper that said "we are getting off at the next stop to call the cops!" So I made them write "sorry" and put the boards away. This was like 6 years ago so I'm not sure why they wouldn't have had a cell, but the cops never caught us. 😁
  6. This sparked an ongoing debate about which teams' acronym phrase had pissed the guy off(neither were very good or memorable) and also blossomed a romance between one of my son's friends and my daughter.
    So when we stopped for food and set off across the parking lot, he gave her a piggy back ride and started running towards the restaurant. And my son wasted no time, hopped on his other friend's back, and went running after them, and as they sped past my daughter and her new beau, he yells at the top of his lungs...
    It was one of the funniest, craziest things I've ever seen.
  8. 👬👫👬👫👬👫👬👫👬👫
  9. Dean R Koontz
    My husband hated road trips but loved vacation. He had a very predictable mood cycle on a car ride. Mood progression: Excited for 40-50 minutes. Bored for 10 minutes or so before the questions started, then 20-30 minutes of inane questions. Sleep for 25-45 minutes. Wake up horny and try to get me to pull over-20 minutes of cajoling while I try to convince him to stay on schedule. Then he's starving and has to pee. Will threaten peeing in bottle/cup if you don't stop in time.
  10. Once he'd been through the cycle once I could usually distract him by getting him to read to me. He read almost all of Watchers to me as we drove Ohio-Oklahoma one night.
  11. 📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚
  12. Stuck on the way to Gatlinburg
    The first time I drove to Gatlinburg with the kids I was driving my Saturn with a stick shift and there was an overturned truck on 75. We were stuck for over an hour in one spot in the foothills of the Smokies and my clutch locked up for a few minutes and I was terrified that I'd be stuck, the car wouldn't go again, We'd slide down the hill and die, etc. I panicked and frantically worked/jiggled it as cars started to move and it finally popped into place and started moving again. WHEW!
  13. And then we get there and have to drive up the steepest gravel road ever. It's dark(because of the traffic delays) and terrifying and once we'd gotten settled I'd planned on going to dinner,
    But I just didn't have it in me for another harrowing mountain drive, so we ate cereal for dinner and watched Secondhand Lions on VHS.
  14. 🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗
  15. Flip map
    I'd been married almost a year and we were frustrated and exhausted one day and nothing was going right so we threw our (dirty) laundry into a suitcase, stopped at the gas station and bought a flip map, and took our rent money and drove south and didn't stop til we saw palm trees. My ATM card let me take out $20 at a time without, apparently, verifying if there was any money in my account, so I overdrew by a lot and we seriously paid for that trip for a year, but boy was it nice to just go.
  16. 🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴
  17. Spring break chaperone
    My husband and I left our kids with my mom and dad and were "chaperones" for my sister's spring break trip to Daytona Beach with her high school friends. They got thrown out of a hotel for drinking and my husband danced a jig and sang the Lucky Charms song to the guy while the girls were moving their stuff because he was a short redhead with green swim trunks on and a bad attitude. He was not amused and his face got so red and he was sputtering as we drove away. Funny but in retrospect, so mean.
  18. We went in two cars and spent the car ride down on our walkie talkies and writing dry erase board notes to each other.
    We also would write CHARADES on the top of the board and try to convince people to act out something for us then write guesses. We had one or two actually do it, but we got mooned multiple times.
  19. We were terrible chaperones and role models.
    But no one got lost, pregnant or tattooed. Someone may have gotten pierced in a place she would be ashamed to show her mom though. 😳
  20. ❤️🌟🐎👟🍀🌑💰🌈🎈
  21. Cream soda stuck under the gas pedal.
    I dropped an unopened can of Barq's Red Cream Soda while driving on the expressway. It rolled under the gas pedal and I couldn't reach it. It ended up exploding all over the driver's side floor.
  22. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
  23. Ireland bathroom
    My daughter and I went to Ireland 5 years ago. The GPS situation was not as advanced as it is today and Garmin kept getting us off the highway and onto roads that sheep wanted to share with us. On one of these trips, coming back from the Cliffs of Mohr to our hotel, she had to go the bathroom so badly and we'd gotten off on some dirt track road somehow and so I just stopped and let her go outside with God and the sheep watching. She was mortified but I explained how temperamental the GPS was and
  24. How we might not find a bathroom for a while yet...
    And not 3 minutes later we turned off the dirt track onto the main road with a modern fancy gas station/truck stop.
  25. 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀
  26. South Padre Island
    My husband had to get his wisdom teeth pulled while he was in the army and he got three days leave to do it, so he went on a Tuesday and immediately afterwards we left on an (unsanctioned) trip to South Padre Island. He was drugged up pretty good, but after a few hours he pulled out the dry erase board(this was his idea originally when it wouldn't stick to our fridge anymore) and started writing notes for our fellow travelers in the great state of Texas.
  27. Or so I thought.
    After about 20 minutes he started giggling uncontrollably and showed me the board and he just had penises drawn all over it. I was like 8 months pregnant with our youngest and I started laughing so hard I almost peed myself. It took forever to get there, but it was probably the best vacation we ever had.
  28. 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆