STAGES OF POISON IVY GRIEF
🌱🌿🍃🌿🌱🌿🍃🌿🌱🌿🍃🌿🌱 Warning: This list is just me whining.
- •Blissful ignoranceA night of drinking, a twisted ankle and a broken phone screen. Fair deal universe.
- •DenialHey universe! I THOUGHT we had a deal. For the past 25 years I've stayed out of the woods naked, and you've kept the sticky green death leaves away from me. But now, all of the sudden, deal's up? WTF?
- •BargainingMaybe if I just wash my skin with Dawn and Technu every hour on the hour, it won't be that bad.
- •Burn off my fleshOk it's that bad. Switch to scrubbing blisters raw and burning them with straight vinegar. Why did this work so well for that guy on the YouTube video?
- •Maybe a doctor will save you...Shot in the butt. Not as helpful as you'd like to think it might be. Also got yelled at for the vinegar thing.
- •LanguishingBenadryl naps round the clock. I'm still itchy, but I don't know it. I didn't have anything to do this week anyway.
- •Weeping rash/gnashing of teethYou Guys, guys, I can feel my heartbeat in my legs, you guys....