1. Don't be so enthusiastic.
    You're a bit much
  2. Stop telling everyone how much you love sugar.
    How old are you anyway?
  3. Shhhh. Your voice is too loud.
    So is your laugh, could you just dial it back?
  4. Maybe wear something different.
    You look like a little kid.
  5. Only send one text at a time. No one is reading all that.
    People only answer one question so don't ask 5. Stop acting like you care.
  6. People don't need to hear your life story the first time you meet them.
    Or ever, really.
  7. Try not to be so blunt.
  8. For the love of all that is good, quit complaining!
    Your life is cake. Everything interesting happened almost a decade ago. You're fine now.
  9. On that note, Act your age!
    No grown ass adult wants to do what you want to.
  10. Weird and awkward is only cute for a little bit.
    Try not to be like that as often. Repeat after me: good weird, not weird weird.
  11. Maybe censor your stories.
    Check your filter and give it a good rinse, hon, you're leaking around the edges.
  12. Why are you so angry, it's only a __________?
    Commercial, news program, marketing tool. Stop yelling, we already agree with you.
  13. Static
  14. Maybe this isn't what you meant Jess, but feeling a little like this lately.
    Although? Usually I decide "Fuck It! I'll be in whatever lane I want!" soon enough....