THE WORST DATE I'VE EVER BEEN ON 😖

Inspired by @misselsa
  1. I married my very first (high school) boyfriend so dating experience was thin on the ground already.
  2. I was in the process of a divorce and not handling things well.
  3. My kids(teenagers!) thought it would be fun to try dating and good for me to not be moping over their dad.
  4. I was fairly new to Facebook and had started casually chatting with a guy from high school.
    I'd remembered him as smart and friendly. Not terribly exciting but who needed to go back to the drama of my previous relationship? Not me!
  5. I'd mentioned how difficult getting back into dating was and how scary it was.
  6. A few weeks later he asked me to dinner.
  7. I was excited and nervous but everything seemed relaxed and normal.
    Warning!! WARNING!!!!! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!!🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨⏰⏰⏰⏰
  8. We met at a cute restaurant with delicious Italian food.
    1. I'm so glad I drove myself. 2. I loved that restaurant. 3. I'm probably allowed back by now I would think.
  9. Keep in mind I knew this person from my (small) high school.
  10. Keep in mind that I'd already told him how nervous and uncomfortable dating made me.
  11. We ordered drinks and an appetizer.
  12. Then.....
  13. .
  14. .
  15. .
  16. .
  17. Stop reading now. You'll be happier. Your faith in people is still intact.
  18. .
  19. .
  20. .
  21. .
  22. .
  23. .
  24. Don't say I didn't warn you.
  25. He told me he'd brought me something and now that he'd seen me again he decided to give it to me.
  26. He went out to his car.
  27. I wish he'd just driven away.
  28. He brought in a big box of AMWAY PRODUCTS HE WANTED ME TO SELL AS HIS FUCKING AMWAY DISTRIBUTOR!!!!!
  29. AMWAY!!!!!🔪🔪🔪🔫🔫🔫💣☠
  30. I was very quiet.
  31. I opened the box carefully at the table. He had a little booklet of talking points.
  32. I picked up a bottle of nutrient supplements, opened it up.
  33. He told me those pills were good for weight loss and I'd get a discount for personal use.
    Thank you. Now I can do this.
  34. And threw the bottle at his head.
  35. I followed it up with my wine. Then his wine.
  36. The glass shattered on the table and the people behind us were pelted with vitamin pills and a really nice Malbec. 🍷💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊💊 It was a big bottle of vitamins.
  37. I ran out of there fast.
  38. I left my coat and never went back for it.
  39. I haven't been on a date since. Netflix and I are perfectly happy in our committed relationship. I also will not go to any high school reunions again. Ever.
  40. Keep an eye out for LIST OF THINGS I WOULD RATHER FIND OUT ON A FIRST DATE THAN MY DATE SELLS AMWAY.
  41. Also LIST OF ADVICE FROM TEENAGERS YOU SHOULD NEVER TAKE.
  42. Also NEXFLIX QUEUE EXPLAINED IN THREE EASY CATEGORIES.