THERE MUST BE 50 WAYS TO LOSE YOUR JEWELRY

  1. You lend the silver and turquoise ring you got for your confirmation to your teen daughter and she drops it down the sink.
  2. Your neck gets too fat for your thin gold I love you chain, and when you're 8 months pregnant it snaps and falls into the street and you can't get down and look for it because you are going to have an almost 10 lb. baby.
  3. You buy a cute pair of amethyst studs on vacation and drop one into the ocean.
  4. You buy a replacement pair and two months after you get home, you put them in your pocket while at the playground and never see them again.
  5. Nineteen years later you still own the lone remaining earring.
  6. You fling your first wedding ring into a field after your first big fight.
  7. You buy replacement rings, smash your hand in the door of your car, take the ring to be repaired at Service Merchandise, and they go out of business and you never get your ring back.
  8. Your husband cheats on you with a woman who gives him a nice watch. You guys go out drinking one night at a last ditch bar called Pair-a-Dice and when you try to drive him home he runs into the empty field next door and takes off all his clothes. You drive him home in his boxer-briefs, but leave the watch in the field.
  9. You buy a cheap new wedding ring but when you finally give up and flush it, you never get another.
  10. You let a neighbor kid have your mood ring.
  11. Your graduation watch stops working and you mean to have it repaired but never do. Eventually you throw it away.
  12. Your sister borrows your elephant earrings and moves to Savannah.
  13. You are guilted into buying a green agate pendant by a girl at work. You wear it to the Renaissance Festival and drop it in the muddy "parking field" and never find it again.
  14. Your son buys you an alien head marble necklace from the Secret Santa fair at school. Years later he takes it back and gives it to his girlfriend.
  15. You throw away a plastic silver dinosaur necklace when the silver coating starts to flake off. You warn your daughter to only marry a man who gives her real metal jewelry.
  16. You leave a ziplock bag full of costume jewelry in a hotel room in Galveston, TX. The front desk tells you they found it in the lost and found and will send it to you, but they never do.
  17. You have a myrrh bead necklace from Crabtree & Evelyn. It releases scent when the hot water from the shower hits it. It finally dissolves away and you snap the remaining string and throw it away the night before the MathCounts competition. You don't win.
  18. You get a bunch of old brooches from your grandma. You take them apart and make a statement necklace for your sister one Christmas.
  19. You "accidentally" break the beaded necklace your sister-in-law bought you and repurpose the beads in a creative art collage.
  20. The heart-shaped ring you wear in high school turns your finger green and you throw it away.
  21. You brush into someone at a crowded concert causing your large geometric patterned hoop earring to fall to the floor. You continue on your quest to reach the stage, vowing to go back for it and when you do you can't find it.
    Suggested by   @shannanigans
  22. you leave some great hoop earrings at a guy's house. he says he can't find them, but you are not sure if he's telling the truth. you decide to abandon both.
    Suggested by   @julianna
  23. You talk with your hands, causing your dolphin ring to fly off and land in Colonial Lake. Your husband (now ex) likes to bring this up every time you walk there, like that ring cost more than $10.
    Suggested by   @thesting
  24. You buy a ring at a bazaar in the walking streets of Copenhagen. The next morning you groggily slide the new ring onto the wrong finger which slowly begins to swell up and turn purple. No amount of hand lotion will loosen the vice-like ring. Your parents drag you to the nearest jeweler & the ring is unceremoniously cut & pried off.
    Suggested by   @grumpus