THINGS I'M PRETTY SURE I COULD DO IF IT WAS AN EMERGENCY

Inspired by @joemurphy
  1. Remove a tracking microchip from under my own skin.
    With my teeth if necessary.
  2. Tread water indefinitely.
  3. Babysit and entertain a large group of children for at least a long weekend.
  4. Get pregnant on the first try.
  5. Find my way home from anywhere without a GPS or map.
  6. Make a creative sculpture from old junk.
  7. Plan and execute a backyard wedding with 2 1/2 hours notice including a Plan B for inclement weather.
  8. Attend a college parent orientation without heckling.
    LOL NO