THINGS I WISH I DIDN'T KNOW NOW THAT I DIDN'T KNOW THEN 📁☀️

  1. The allure of vigilantism
  2. The jarring aftershocks of a fist to your face at 18. And 23. And 33. All the ways they are different. All the ways they are the exact fucking same.
  3. The horror of the death of a child close to you from cancer.
  4. The horror of the death of children close to you by violence at the hands of a stranger.
  5. The tiny, shameful veneer of relief over the horror at the death of a child, because it's not your own child.
  6. The polite lie. The relief is enormous, all-encompassing, joyful.
  7. All the ways the balance of child and parent change, and the fear of all the ways they will continue to change.
    When I am the child.
  8. All the ways the balance of child and parent change, and the fear of all the ways they will continue to change.
    When I am the parent.
  9. The half-landings of the staircase of logic. Questing. Questioning. Doubt. Dis-Belief. Dis-Interest.
  10. The lukewarm, platonic leftovers of a desperate, unwise passion.
  11. The hollow pleasure at the downfall of someone you hate.
  12. The waning moonlight of your own potential.