Someone close to me just had a miscarriage. I have never experienced this and while I know many women who have, I haven't usually known them or known about it when it happened. If you have experienced a miscarriage or know some who has, were there certain things that were particularly helpful to hear or have done for you? Thank you! Xoxo
  1. Just offering support AT ALL and being consistent about checking in means a whole lot ❤️
    Everyone handles it differently, so maybe ask how you can be there for her during this time. Let her cry and talk, if she wants. My cousin's wife came over a few times in the weeks after and brought desserts & groceries, offered to run errands, let me talk her ear off. Honestly, it meant so much just to have someone offer their support.
    Suggested by @taylormorley
  2. If you are nearby, go and visit them. Hugs and love.
    My good friends lost babies back to back, and I was very attached to the babies as well. I was honest with them and said that I'm so sad and would have loved that baby so much. Since I can't love on the baby, I'm here for whatever you guys need. I also sent flowers and just stayed available. It was hard because I was grieving too.
    Suggested by @Boogie
  3. After my miscarriage, my friend brought me ice cream, a coloring book to share (we used watercolors on it), and a mindless rom-com movie we could practically quote.
    We talked but she never pried about feelings I wasn't ready to express. She just showed love and spent a few hours distracting me. It was perfect.
    Suggested by @silverwolf634
  4. If there are other kids, taking them to do something fun for several hours would be great. Don't ask if she needs it. Assume she needs it.
    Also I needed space. Sympathetic looks from people made me more upset. Don't push her to talk about it if she doesn't want to. It took me a full 2 years for it to just come out in an unrelated marriage counseling session.
    Suggested by @designordie
  5. I had a miscarriage less than two months ago. One of my dear friends brought my favorite dessert and hugged and cried with me the very next day. Another close friend didn't know what to say or do so she acted like nothing happened, which hurt me emotionally.. even though I'd been in her shoes once. Ignoring it doesn't help!
    Not everyone's the same as me, but it helped to talk details with those who would listen. My 85-year-old aunt asked me what it was like to miscarry. It felt good to share the gory details. This is a late suggestion... one month late! Check in on your friend now..she could still be devastated.
    Suggested by @americanmum
  6. Give them flowers
    I just had a miscarriage and I really want someone to buy me flowers. I think it's because it's traditional to give/receive flowers during a loss, and I want that acknowledgement. I know this post is old, but maybe this suggestion can help someone in the future.
    Suggested by @marushka
  7. Acknowledge the situation
    Give her the opportunity to express her feelings to you. If she takes you up on that, be there for her, whether it's for mindless TV or heartfelt conversation. If she was far enough along that they knew the gender, ask her if they had a name for the baby and refer to the baby by his/her name. If she doesn't want to talk, definitely send flowers so she knows that you are a person she can come to if/when she is ready to talk.
    Suggested by @colls39
  8. Be there. Ask how she is doing. Listen. Hug. Distract. Repeat.
    Suggested by @pathb