ALL THE STEPS I HAVE TO TAKE BEFORE JUST EATING SOME FUCKING ICE CREAM

  1. Walking into the kitchen confidently.
  2. Walking out confidently.
  3. Flopping onto my bed.
  4. Whining.
  5. Tweeting about wanting ice cream.
  6. Going over everything I ate today.
  7. Realizing nothing I ate today grew from the ground.
  8. Taking a shower.
  9. Listening to Spice Girls in shower.
  10. Feeling pumped and girl-powery.
  11. Walking into kitchen on empowerment high.
  12. Opening freezer door.
  13. Feeling tired from the walk to the kitchen from the bathroom.
  14. Closing freezer door.
  15. Opening freezer door.
  16. Closing freezer door.
  17. Flopping onto bed again.
  18. Does mental calculation and figures since my period is starting in two weeks it's probably PMS and if my body wants ice cream, I must need ice cream.
  19. Eating ice cream.
  20. Post-eating ice cream step: hating self.