MY TANK OF GAS
- •Full: This will last forever. You can find me in the left lane, speeding past all those fucking pleabs without a FULL TANK OF GAS.
- •3/4: How did this happen? I JUST bought gas. I'm going to be a little more cautious with my speed and breaking, because I don't plan on buying gas for at least another month. My budget can't handle it.
- •1/2: I have accepted that this tank will not last forever or the next month. But I have a solid cushion. I'm going to go on a nice drive with my audiobook. I haven't been down that road before! I'll just coast a bit more to make up for this hour-long excursion up a mountain.
- •1/4: 🚨🚨🚨 GAS SHOULD BE A BASIC HUMAN RIGHT, I cannot maintain this. I'm going under the speed limit and absolutely refusing to brake. If the guy in front of me slams on his, instead of letting off the gas with the flow of traffic, I bring down a torrent of next-level expletives on him and his family.
- •Empty: I can't handle the emotional torment of getting gas right now. It's been 4 days. This is a catastrophe.
- •Gas light: I'm late! I can't get gas!! But I'll be so much later if I run out of gas on the highway!!! I'm so distraught about being late and berating myself, I don't focus on the price. It's a GREAT deflection tactic. Super healthy
- •With a job: Just fill it up. I've got to go. Let's start this cycle all over again.
- •At school: Who do you think I am? A Rockefeller? Put 11 dollars in and come back in 2 days and use the change from a 10 after you get a Diet Coke. You can't afford a full tank you brat.