OFF OKCUPID FOR A YEAR: THE MESSAGES

I made this profile as a joke 3 years ago. Used it for sustenance *cough cough* in between college and law school. And I revisited it as I got back in town today. I wish I hadn't. I'm marrying myself
  1. Several states away. Older than my father. A disturbing percentage of match. Those eyebrows.
  2. No. And burn those shorts.
  3. I might marry this guy rn. Based solely on the eyebrow comment.
  4. My name is not Yummy. I think this guy is a cannibal. And he ate that girl in the picture
  5. His handle was "Athetticbanker." I am SO glad he disabled. But disturbed that means someone is dating him.
  6. I'm not discreet. I'm putting your weird torso pic on blast.
  7. Okay message. I don't know why he's so scared of the camera. Or why he thought we could even look at each other based on our incredibly different views on... everything. Bigots cannot get it.
  8. What?