STEPS I TOOK TO TRY TO GET A LEGAL INTERNSHIP AT BUZZFEED

I failed. I tried. But I failed.
  1. 1.
    Spend a lot of the semester on Buzzfeed
    In an escapist attempt to stay connected with the world and exit the bourgeoisie environment of my small southern law school
  2. 2.
    Check the jobs section of the site on a whim
  3. 3.
    See the paid legal internship in NYC for the summer
  4. 4.
    Tell EVERYONE I'm applying
  5. 5.
    Write a cover letter about the time I talked Delta into getting me across the country during Hurricane Katrina
  6. 6.
    Submit application
  7. 7.
    Begin checking email every hour
  8. 8.
    Freak out
  9. 9.
    Look for a phone number
    There is no listed number
  10. 10.
    Get creative. Realize that you can always get ahold of a company's communication director
  11. 11.
    Call the communications director. Ask to be transferred to the legal department. Get denied.
  12. 12.
    Join LinkedIn. Pay $30 for Premium. Send a message to the head of the legal department.
  13. 13.
    Get no response.
  14. 14.
    Go to New York City. Go to an event featuring a Buzzfeed Editor. Fangirl. Bring up the job. Get no reaction. Thank her. Follow her on Twitter.
  15. 15.
    Step 5: Acceptance.
  16. 16.
    Get another job by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin
  17. 17.
    Dream of what could have been
  18. 18.
    Become the most successful lawyer in The US
  19. 19.
    Buy Buzzfeed
  20. 20.
    Manipulate the questions on the "Which House of Cards character are you?" so I finally fucking get Claire Underwood