STUFF MY MOM NOW THINKS I CAN DO WITH 2 YEARS OF LAW SCHOOL

  1. Get her out of her time share
    I am not actually magic
  2. Write her will
    Nope
  3. Notarize things
    A totally different job
  4. Watch FoxNews without getting upset
    "As a lawyer, you have to appreciate both sides." "NOT WHILE I EAT MY BREAKFAST MOTHER"
  5. Travel the world and follow my dreams
    MORE debt? I don't think so. Bank of America won't even give me another $1200 on my credit limit