THINGS I SAID TO MY MOTHER GROWING UP THAT WOULD HAVE JUSTIFIED HER INFANTICIDE
Here is the 5 minute version of the hell I put Kendra through. Although if I made a matricide list re: her words, I'm sure we would be evenly matched. 👭 Made for each other!
- •Are you really going to wear that? - Age 4I didn't let her leave the house until she changed.
- •You're almost as pretty as Maria. - Age 6My stepdad's ex-wife.
- •This ham/broccoli casserole is actually child abuse. Never cook again. - Age 12It was pretty bad and she made me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but what a brat
- •Yellow isn't your color. Stop wearing yellow. It makes you look like you have Hepatitis. - Ages 11-23After seeing her in yellow. And a few more times. Like yesterday.
- •Diane is so gorgeous. - Age 5My biological father's girlfriend.
- •Are you still reading that book? It's only 400 pages and it's been like 5 months. I've read a ton of books in that time. - Age 10She has dyslexia and was... raising me
- •The "no one in your car for one year after you get your license" rule doesn't apply to passengers over 18. - Age 17A flat-out lie. It was 25 years old. And I was on her insurance.
- •I didn't realize I was using YOUR credit card when I bought $200 worth of DVDs at Barnes and Noble. - Ages 15-21
- •I'm sweating because I went to the gym... Not from McDonald's meat sweats. - Age High School