WHY I SHOULD ACTUALLY STUDY FOR EXAMS... OR THINGS I SAID WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN

  1. Beg iTunes to give me the $219 I spent on Kim Kardashian: Hollywood back
  2. Eat two habanero peppers for $10
  3. Jokingly ask my doomsday prepper grandmother to pay off my credit card ahead of the Thunderdome, to "make my last days in civilization easier"
  4. Have a 20-year-old employment supervisor
  5. Cut my own bangs
  6. Have my debit card declined for a day old grocery store sandwich
  7. Gain weight on purpose so I can earn more money at the plasma donation center (extra 5lbs = an extra $10 a week)
  8. Sell Subaru's
  9. Default on a gym membership
  10. Have my Student Advisor say "I'm sorry your parents aren't more supportive" when I explain that I need extra loans for the summer
  11. Convince the Sephora lady that I didn't use the eyeliner so I can get the $32.95 back
  12. Accept $50 from my parents to affect my vote in the presidential election (this was originally in the Kid's Vote circa 2000 but still)
  13. Stop hanging out with a friend because they don't pay me back