WAYS I'M WEIRD ABOUT MONEY

  1. I will not hesitate to order a $20 cocktail (must have freshly squeezed juice, strange bitters, a cool name like Katniss Everdeen etc) but would balk at paying more than $30 for a whole bottle of wine. Conversely, $60 for champagne feels reasonable.
  2. I also balk at the price of Bounty paper towels. $5 for two rolls?? That's crazy.
  3. No problem spending $11.99 on a book in iTunes but hesitate to pull the trigger on an album, start buying songs piecemeal to "put together my own great mix with only songs that I love."
  4. I really wanted to buy a little tub of uni butter for $17.99 but I couldn't bring myself to go through with it. But I talked about the butter so much over so many months that someone gave it to me for my birthday.
  5. $500 for a dress feels fine and right. $500 for a shirt feels crazy even though I would technically wear the shirt way more.
  6. I judge all service industry money by how much you would have to pay me to do it. Anything under $500 seems like a pretty good deal.
  7. Did you know that Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan only made $250K each on 50 Shades??! That seems crazy to me. If I'm getting naked and whipped you better make that a million. If I have to wear ripped up Tommy jeans and say the word "playroom" in a serious way BITCH BETTER HAVE MY $$$.
  8. A massage for $200 is a little luxurious but ultimately fine, $200 for a Pap smear and I'm like WTF I thought my copay covered this!
  9. Sorry but a guy always has to pay on the first date. I'm happy to get the next few rounds but if you don't pull out your wallet I'm gonna think you're not really feeling me OR you are cheap and have no manners. I hope this doesn't make me sound like that Princeton mom telling girls to get married in college but I'm just trying to keep it real!
  10. However in a business setting I'm paying.
  11. If it's part flirty, part businessy (ie we're both writers, we meet at a book festival, we kick it at the bar after) I get one round, you get a round, and so forth.
  12. If you are younger than me, I'm paying. Korean house rules.
  13. I get super hype about a 20% promo at Net-a-porter that amounts to savings of $150 but I put off cashing a check for $2000 bucks like I can't be bothered. Why!