STARBUCKS COFFEE BEVERAGES, RANKED FROM MOST TO LEAST HARDCORE

  1. 1.
    Straight espresso
    Quick to make and to drink. No fuss. You might burn your tongue, though.
  2. 2.
    Cold-brew coffee
    Strong and delicious, plus the cool temperature and the straw make for easy, efficient consumption. Only slightly hipsterly.
  3. 3.
    Hot coffee or traditional iced coffee
    The classic. Fun fact: blonde roast coffees have MORE caffeine than darker roasts (and they're more refreshing, IMO)
  4. 4.
    Americano
    Yes, that's espresso in there, but unless you're getting extra shots, there's actually less caffeine ounce-for-ounce than plain brewed coffee.
  5. 5.
    Cappuccino
    Less milk, more foam makes for a stronger hit of espresso. Pairs well with madeleines for optimal foam scooping.
  6. 6.
    Latte
    You can drink a latte and still be considered a relatively legit coffee drinker.
  7. 7.
    Mocha/white mocha
    Like liquid dessert. May be intensified with added espresso shots.
  8. 8.
    Coffee-based Frappuccino
    Frosty, creamy summer treat. The sugar will probably get you more amped up than the small amount of coffee.
  9. 9.
    Raspberry water
    Unless you're a high school girl or a middle-aged weirdo with severe Peter Pan Syndrome, you have no business drinking this.