PASSOVER PROCLAMATIONS

  1. This is the emoji combination that means "matzo pizza." 📜🍕
  2. Vegan matzo pizza is still matzo pizza, and thus a mitzvah.
  3. During the seder, when your father sings "Hallelujah," to the tune of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah," be thankful.
  4. In 1998, "The New York Times" interviewed Fran Lebowitz about Passover, and it is a treasured addition to our family's haggadah. It is Talmudic.
  5. Your mother's matzo brei is not the same as my mother's matzo brei and that is okay. Matzo brei is the most controversial food.
  6. The cookbook writer - who published a recipe for what he says is, scientifically, the "right" way to make matzo pizza - is wrong. His way seems not haimish, though structurally sound.
  7. Ten plagues masks are the new ten plagues puppets.
    (According to Instagram.)
  8. Dipping your finger in a glass of wine to remove one drop for each of the plagues will always be fun.
  9. Let's write and publish our own haggadah.
  10. The afikomen bag that you made when you were 7 might be inspiration for a handbag when you are 35. Be glad that your parents saved it and still use it.
  11. Try to use the word "dayenu" more often in every day life.
    It would have been sufficient.