THINGS I DO NOT UNDERSTAND AND DEFINITELY AM NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT

  1. At some point, soon, we are going to have to redefine the word "favorite."
  2. On television shows they always wrap the tops and bottoms of gift boxes separately.
  3. It is not intuition, it is an algorithm. I’m just really good at using Google.
  4. Do not measure a person’s worth by the number of pieces of Spanx you put on when you get dressed before you see them.
  5. Something about getting really excited when you pick a new password, and then really sad when you remember that you shouldn’t tell it to everyone.
  6. I’ve been through three new phones since we last spoke. How many more before I stop transferring your number to each new address book?