THINGS I'M DOING LIKE THEY'RE MY JOB AT MY JOB

It's too pretty out to work so I'm very easily distracted. Here's a list of what a disinterested onlooker might think my occupation is based on my actions of the day.
  1. Reading everyone's lists
    That's a given.
  2. Eating pistachios
    I have an assembly line-like precision right now with how I'm cracking and eating while skimming email.
  3. Drinking water
    Finishing my water bottle means extra trips to the water cooler which means less time at the desk. Consequently, going to the bathroom also makes the list.
  4. Dress shopping
    Do you know how hard it is for a 5 foot tall woman to find a dress that fits, especially in Wisconsin? Needs must on this one.
  5. Reading all my old personal emails that I've been meaning to get to
    Yes boyfriend, I will read your thesis. Thanks mom, I definitely have time to watch this 20 minute YouTube video about the internet's funniest dogs.
  6. Counting down until it's an acceptable time to leave
    Need to know exactly how many minutes until 4pm? I'm your man! Speaking of which, time to go!