ANSWERS WHEN YOUR 2-YEAR-OLD ASKS "WHAT ARE YOU EATING?" AND YOU'RE EATING A COOKIE

(And you don't want to give him one.)
  1. Leftover vegetables
  2. What am I eating?? What are YOU eating???
  3. Brown medicine wafer
  4. Quick, look over there
  5. Dinosaur poo
  6. Some stuff that came out of Grandma's ears
  7. Is that the doorbell?
  8. A piece of your car seat
  9. Sock patties
  10. Rotten crayon bits
  11. Do I hear Mommy doing something interesting in another room?
  12. An early bedtime pill
  13. Poisonous vitamin disc
  14. Do you want to play with my phone?
  15. Toenails
  16. Fingernails
  17. Something you're allergic to
  18. Come on, you just had snack!
  19. I can't do anything without you noticing, can I?
  20. Okay, okay, you can have one cookie
  21. Okay, one and a half
  22. The package is right over there. I'll be in the living room.