APRIL FOOLS: TEN TRICKS TO PLAY ON YOUR TODDLER

  1. Put his shoes on the wrong feet. See if he notices. Or cares.
  2. Cayenne pepper on his oatmeal. Oops, sorry.
  3. Hide his favorite stuffed animal. Pretend it never existed at all. "Huh? Where's Beary? Who's Beary?" Keep up the ruse until he murders you with the fake knife from his toy kitchen.
  4. Take him to the doctor's office. Carry him inside and say he only needs sixteen shots today. Only leave after he cries so loudly that the police are called.
  5. Poke a hole in the bottom of his diaper. Oh, wait, that's mostly a trick you'll be playing on yourself.
  6. Find an elderly woman. Tell your toddler this is his new grandma. See if they bond.
  7. Capture a squirrel. "Here's your new pet. Oh, he ran away? April Fools."
  8. Teach him your favorite curse word, then send him to nursery school.
  9. Try to convince him it's time for a nap even though he just woke up. (And if that works, guess what — April Fools Day every day!)
  10. Get a haircut without warning him first. Oh, no, sorry, that is too cruel.