MY TODDLER'S FAVORITE SHOWS

With apologies to @bjnovak, @mindy, and @shondarhimes ... my wife and I love your shows, but we don't let our toddler watch TV yet.
  1. The Daddy Letters Show, where I get into the bathtub, fully clothed, and distract him by playing with foam letters while my wife gives him a sponge bath, because he's completely afraid of the bathtub.
  2. The Unload the Dishwasher Show, a musical celebration of forks, spoons, and plates, with commercial breaks every time my son gets too close and I worry he's going to grab a glass and shatter it.
  3. The Please Stay Calm Until We Get Home Show, an audio-only car seat show, where I attempt to distract him enough to keep everything sane while I drive us home from the supermarket. Features the exciting recurring segment, Daddy Is Going To Try To Name Every Item We Just Bought.
  4. The Folding Laundry Show, an interactive experience where my wife and I fold laundry as fast as we can, and our son unfolds it even faster.
  5. The Watch Me Shower Show, where I have no choice but to stick him in a Pack and Play at the bathroom door while I attempt to make shaving, brushing my teeth, and taking a 45-second shower entertaining enough that he doesn't try to climb out.
  6. The Daddy Is Cleaning Your Room Show, which apparently does not require any audience participation at all, except to re-mess whatever I just put away.
  7. The Please Take A Nap Show, which can last for hours and never has a happy ending.