MY TODDLER'S FAVORITE SHOWS
- •The Daddy Letters Show, where I get into the bathtub, fully clothed, and distract him by playing with foam letters while my wife gives him a sponge bath, because he's completely afraid of the bathtub.
- •The Unload the Dishwasher Show, a musical celebration of forks, spoons, and plates, with commercial breaks every time my son gets too close and I worry he's going to grab a glass and shatter it.
- •The Please Stay Calm Until We Get Home Show, an audio-only car seat show, where I attempt to distract him enough to keep everything sane while I drive us home from the supermarket. Features the exciting recurring segment, Daddy Is Going To Try To Name Every Item We Just Bought.
- •The Folding Laundry Show, an interactive experience where my wife and I fold laundry as fast as we can, and our son unfolds it even faster.
- •The Watch Me Shower Show, where I have no choice but to stick him in a Pack and Play at the bathroom door while I attempt to make shaving, brushing my teeth, and taking a 45-second shower entertaining enough that he doesn't try to climb out.
- •The Daddy Is Cleaning Your Room Show, which apparently does not require any audience participation at all, except to re-mess whatever I just put away.
- •The Please Take A Nap Show, which can last for hours and never has a happy ending.