THINGS I SAID TO MY TODDLER WHILE MAKING THANKSGIVING DINNER THAT I'M GLAD NO ONE ELSE OVERHEARD
(Some of these may be exaggerated.)
- •"Please don't put your fingers in the gravy anymore."
- •"Good idea, but I'm pretty sure your plastic dinosaurs would like to be removed from the stuffing."
- •"The eggshells go in the garbage, not in the cranberry sauce."
- •"Usually when we drop food on the floor, we throw it out-- but since that was all of our brussels sprouts...."
- •"Did you lick all of the mushrooms, or just a few of them?"
- •"Okay, okay, we definitely have to wash your feet right now since they touched raw turkey."
- •"Sure, whoever finds the Lego man in the sweet potatoes can win a prize."
- •"That might be enough kneading of the pie crust-- now pick it all up off the floor and give it back to me."
- •"No, no, don't pour the gravy in-- oh well, I'll just add more sugar to the pumpkin filling to compensate."
- •"Please don't put your fingers in the turkey anymore."