THINGS MY TODDLER DOES BETTER THAN ME

  1. Stops eating cookies when he's full
  2. Remembers where I put my glasses
  3. Expresses his frustration without resorting to passive-aggressive e-mails
  4. Shares his toys
  5. Eats 150-200 servings of fruit each day
  6. Resists the urge to constantly be online
  7. Stops and smells things, including but not limited to roses
  8. Does not pre-judge new acquaintances based on where they went to school or what they do for a living
  9. Gets excited by acorns
  10. Guards our house by waking up each and every time there is any noise, movement, or ghost activity
  11. Gives hugs
  12. Inbox zero